


Knowledge

by TheStarsHaveAligned



Category: Messiah Project - All Media Types
Genre: Eiri being boned, Haku doing the Haku thing, M/M, Souma and Shuusuke KNOWING, awareness, flirting with danger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 17:05:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4444625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStarsHaveAligned/pseuds/TheStarsHaveAligned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eiri knew when he had made a mistake, and was quick to solve it in the most efficient way -probably the rest only knew of that mistake for how he looked. Now was the same. He was the one giving himself away and rising suspicions.<br/>He knew they knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowledge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightningwaltz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningwaltz/gifts).



> fic where Everyone Knows that Haku/Eiri is going even if Eiri at least tries to be subtle about it - thanks for the prompt Lightningwaltz  
> set somewhere between dou and hakugin no shou

Being a sakura agent covered a wide range of duties: from intelligence and undercover work to infiltration and eliminating objectives. Eiri had gone undercover countless times; at this point it was not difficult for him to mask feelings and fake attitudes for the sake of a mission, becoming a different person and adopting a low profile. It should be an easy task, and yet. Like the prickling feeling that runs over your skin signaling that you messed up, he felt his whole body reacting to the eyes he knew were watching him.

He knew they knew.

Or at least suspected they knew; it was only obvious since he could not seem to act normal for the life of him.

Damn self consciousness. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he was uncovering himself out.

  
Eiri knew when he had made a mistake, and was quick to solve it in the most efficient way -probably the rest only knew of that mistake for how he looked. Now was the same. He was the one giving himself away and rising suspicions.

Straightening his back and biting the inside of his mouth in an attempt to release his frustration, Eiri went back to the task ahead him; today they were again practicing the assemble and cleaning of weapons. Time before he’d still be wondering how Haku managed to do that and at the same time keep drinking from his nanny brick, but now that was the last thing he wanted running around his head. He had to focus on his task.

Yes, focus on that, and not in Haku’s body distance from his, or how his long fingers expertisely clenched the spring to the barrel before taking hold of the brick and approaching the straw to his mouth, his tongue slightly licking his lips afterwards-

A sudden noise, a magazine being adjusted back to the weapon, brought his attention back and his eyes flew to his own weapon, and in seconds he assembled it. Quicker than he remembered doing it before. Out of pure distress.

Haku was more stressing than any death or life mission- was this probably worse than being cornered with counted bullets?

It must be. Eiri would have traded it. Anything but this.

“Kaidou _kyun_ that was awesome! You beat your own record!”

Kuroko’s voice did all he did not wish for; bring attention to him, eyes around he knew had been carefully observing his strange behaviour, specifically Souma’s perceptive eyes, that went past Haku and focused on him. Eyes other than the ones of his messiah, leisurely sipping from his nanny box.

Haku was not ignoring him; he was behaving as usual, it was Eiri who seemed not to be able to remember how many breathes were normally inhaled and exhaled in each minute.

Usually he kept his emotions at bay -emotions other than anger because anger is easy to let out and every outburst is a way to emotionally cover himself, easier than any other sign that could give out vulnerability- but this time it seemed Eiri could not dissimulate any of his feelings. No matter how hard he tried to go back to normal- he could not. There was no way to go back to normal; there was no way to go back.

Yesterday they crossed a line.

It was not as if they hadn’t been flirting with danger all this time, but yesterday things escalated and went out of control. They went out of control, each greedier than the other, and with a hunger Eiri didn’t realise he had until then.

But it ended as confusingly as it started, leaving him with an awkward and dissatisfiying feeling of not having talked things properly before and after, and the situation stretched on until today.

At least, for him.

A pang of jealousy stabbed him at how Haku handled with such calm that gun- just as he handled this whole situation.

Was the same with his other messiahs? Why was he even wondering that? What kind of childish and insecure feeling- what kind of possesive feeling was that? What did he care. Why would he care if he didn’t even know what yesterday meant, if it meant anything? Or even if Haku cared at all. It may have meant nothing for all he knew. Nothing but rapture.

After all, messiahs were supposed to be _close_. He didn’t know to want extent others were, but he was sure this was not the first time boundaries were crossed between people leaving their lives to others. The whole messiahs’ situation pushed you to do more than just trusting your life to your sakura partner; he would be the only one allowed to be close to you, and you’d be the only one allowed to be close to him. Until death did you apart.

Such sick business the Church was.

And Eiri hated to admit that he knew of Haku the same he had known before this night. There was no kind on miraculously revelation in the aftermath, just the tangible presence on him, like a second skin, mingled breaths and a sticky and painfully sweet scent surrounding them. A sugar coated atmosphere that disappeared as soon as you realized that bodies weighted, and words were even heavier and would not come out because maybe, there was nothing to be said.

Even with what seemed to be his defenses down after the incident that brought Eiri close to death for the uptenth time, Haku still had that habit of covering himself with a mask whenever things went too far.

Eiri saw none of that mask the day he was shot. Or the day he woke up in that hospital room and Haku was sitting next to him. Or the days he caught himself looking at him afterwards, and he looked back.

Or yesterday.

But he had it on today. And that was unnerving.

Eiri didn’t think this was a game, but he didn’t want to be exposed. Not when he did not know if Haku felt the same. Or what he himself felt even. The only thing he knew was that he had not wanted to stop last night. And that he did not regret it happening as much as he regretted not knowing why. It was probably the uncertainty of all this situation that made him feel as if pointing that gun for answers.

 

* * *

 

“Eiri.”

Awful how the body decides to react to certain sounds as if atuned by default, as if it knew what you wanted before your brain could even hint it to you. It was just his name, but the sound of Haku’s voice made him jump slightly.

Kamikita san was briefing with Kuroko in the table before them, and Souma and Shuusuke were discussing something about that and he should have been paying attention-

Maybe his reflexes were too slow to avoid being touched.

Or maybe he was just unable to stop indulging on a guilty pleasure of memories flowing and flooding just because he was touching him.

Maybe it was how every small touch made him flinch and remember -his skin still oversensitive even with his clothes on- the after effects of yesterday’s encounter, still intensely affecting him, making his mouth dry and his palms slick. The same perspiration that ran down his neck and condensed in the hollow of his collarbones, just before Haku licked it. Slowly.

But fact was that Haku touched him, and it was far from innocent, not in the touch itself, but on the meaning of it.

Because that made Eiri met his eyes and hold his stare for a bit longer than he should, unable to tear his eyes from his.

The same eyes that yesterday observed with curiosity his every sigh and skirming of his body. The same look he gave him when he knew it was his touch that was making him moan.

It evoked so many things that for a moment his own mind was transported again to that moment and to that room and to that bed.

He was not even thinking; his body was on autopilot making him experience again all the feelings overwhelming his senses yesterday. He did not need to make his mind remember. His body recalled yesterday’s encounter well enough to send stimuli all over his nerves, making him rigid and taut, from the soles of his feet to the nape of his neck, running fingers applying the exact amount of pressure. He almost had to stiffle a moan at the memory. Yesterday he didn’t.

A shiver ran down his back. This was not okay. This should not be happening here, now of all the times, of all the places.

He felt again eyes on him; Shuusuke was taking a quick and curious glance in his direction, as if asking if he was okay, and he refused to meet them.

Eiri tried to go back to reality. Daydreaming is never safe. In a public space that is even more true; he was supposed to be paying attention and yet he knew he was by far the most distracted one in that room. And it was only natural someone as sharp as Shuusuke had noticed, how he’d usually intervene during briefings, and today was quiet and tense like bowstring.

He was attracting attention. At this point he felt as if he was a human lantern and everybody could see- what the heck, he felt as if his thoughts could be read aloud for all they were affecting him.

He cursed. Cursed because there seemed not to be a way to break off this daydream self indulging delusion that was depriving him from the very important lecture Kamikita san must be giving them.

And cursed because he was too aware. Too on edge and too aware of his messiah’s proximity. Of his messiah’s eyes scrutinizing him, and of his fingers running down his thigh, the table being a poor excuse for discrecy, and the presence of the rest of sakura members not a dissuasive meassure for all he could care.

 

* * *

 

This was not how it was supposed to happen, but words and thoughts were being quickly consumed, melting into a dense and sticky syrup flooding his brain and any other sensorial receptor of his body.

He could not remember what the plan was, how he had thought this to go through, the exact words he intended to yell at his face, before he found himself pinned against a wall, height difference overpowering him but not as much as Haku’s own presence, screaming something silently before giving it, or taking it, or who cared at this point, when all he could feel were his lips on his, Haku’s drumming heart and his own beating in asynched rhythm one against the other, and this former’s leg pressed between his.

Everytime he thought the kiss would end it just resumed with even more desperation.

Who knows for how long this would have lasted before his legs had given out and collapsed to Haku’s will, but thanks to their keen hearing both stopped before being spotted by the hallway.

There was a moment of incredibly uncomfortable naturality at socializing as Souma commented on the briefing with Haku and Shuusuke adjusted his glasses failing the first time as if he had misscalculated where the bridge of his own nose was.

They resumed their steps after this, a last exchange on the mission timetables and meeting place, before disappearing down the hallway and some seconds ticked before Eiri’s ears picked the sound of rustling clothes as Haku took a nanny box from his jacket. They stared at each other for a moment, and an infectious smile formed at Haku’s lips making Eiri cringe for how incredibly happy Haku looked after this stupid rush and how much he was trying to avoid cracking with laughter at it.

If they had to do the talking, definitely not in the hallway.


End file.
